Contributed by Short Fuze.

The other day I was at work and I came across someone I went to high school with. It had been awhile since I have seen them and as usually the case with people I haven't seen in a long time the question that comes up most is, "You still making music?" Of course the answer is yes, then the usual publicity barrage begins on my end: "Here is my card, I'm down with a label out of New York called Uncommon Records, check the website, download the free mixtapes that I posted on the site, join the mailing list, we have this show coming up..."  and finally, the customary "make sure you check out the new album and cop it..." But, the other day was a little different. The person that I came across was really surprised that I was still actively was pursuing my passion. I guess this because some people STILL think that this is a phase for me and the other factor is, some still view rap music a young man's game (last I checked 30 wasn't old).  So we got to catching
up a little bit, you know, how's the family?, how many kids do you have?, shit like that. Then the topic shifts back to music and he asks me, "How many albums you got out now?" I respond with usual, "4 and a solo album due in March..." Instead of the usual, "Really? Wow, I am behind, I need to catch up..." or the half ass pat on the back, "That's cool, I am glad you still do what you like to do..." (I'm realistic, I realize that everyone I have ever known doesn't keep up with my career) I got this response: "AND...you still haven't made anything of yourself?"

Let me just say, OUCH. Mind you this isn't the first time I have gotten a response like this, mostly from other local musicians that gave up because they realized it wasn't all money, sex and rock and roll and then from family members who thought I should have done something more "constructive" with my life. ( Yeah like gang banging, drugs and a shitty minimum wage job was constructive)  I'm not going to lie I was bothered by that encounter the rest of the day. In my own head I kind of started to second guess decisions made on the business end, like I wish I would have did this, instead of this. Or, I shouldn't have turned this opportunity down, it could have been this or that. I got caught up in sales figures and second guessing strategies executed with releases and what not. I don't know why I got so bothered by that persons comment, I guess I got caught up in the high school reunion mentality, meaning you always want to show that you beat the system and lived the life that you wanted to live and you made something of yourself even though others said you wouldn't.

As the day went on I started to feel better because I realized that I was successful and made something of myself. We all get to the point where we hate our jobs and wish we could use our talent to live out the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, we all don't get that chance, but does that mean because we don't have the material wealth or universally recognized name, we aren't successful? Hell no. I have worked real hard to get to the point in my life and my music career that I am at. When I first starting writing raps at 17, I dreamed of money, cars, women and fame. But, as I grew up, I started to develop a stance on views that I had and realized that I could tell my story as well as the stories of others that may not have means to do so. All those things, coupled with the signing of a shitty production deal at 19, then not being able to record for two years AND having your demos stolen from you on top of all that, makes you realize real fast it wasn't as
easy as walking into an record execs office and spitting a verse to get signed anymore. As time went on, I went the indie route, started a group, released albums, sold in the U.S., Europe, Canada, Australia and even Japan, started a label, met and worked with some of my heroes, traveled different places because of my music, signed a European distribution deal, then got my shit stolen by that same distributor, folded my label, signed with Uncommon and then restarted my label, all in 10 years.

I won't front, sometimes I wish I made a little more money and live off my passion, it's not like that but that doesn't mean I don't love what I do and that I'm not happy with what I have accomplished. At the end of the day, whether its myself or any of you that pursue your passions, we just have to get keep doing what we're doing and things will fall into place. And when its all said and done and that fire is gone and you can't do what you love to do anymore, you can look back with fond memories and say I did what I wanted to do and no one can take that away from me. Some people never go after their dreams and somewhere along the way they just conform to the rest of the system...well not me and not you who is reading this right now. Success is what you make it, not those around you. And, fuck that guy anyway, I'm going to New York in less than month to rock a show. What's he going to be doing?