Contributed by Short Fuze

I went on vacation this past weekend to Las Vegas and let me say it was one of the best times I have had in awhile. Myself and my buddy Jeremy went out there for the fan expo and UFC 100, we arrived on Wednesday night. We stayed at the Luxor, it was really cool, it is pyramid shaped and has massive high ceilings. Let me just say this, to the people that told me that food was really cheap in Las Vegas I am going to punch you in the balls and then spit on you. That is what I spent a good portion of my money on is food (45 dollars a day at least)...and not very good food at that.

The first night we were there we at this buffet that costs 20 dollars which wasn't too bad considering it's all you can eat. Then we proceeded to hit up the Black Jack tables and I lost 20 bucks and my buddy lost 100 bucks to the dealer on one hand. That was the end of our gambling for the night since we got our asses handed to us, so we walked around for a little bit and then headed up to our room. Oh and when you get off your plane they take gambling serious because there are slot machines in the airport, no wonder people get addicted. And another thing that I found funny was people always would say, "Oh its not that bad out there, its dry heat..."

Fuck you, it was 107 degrees when we got there and it was hot as fuck, but that didn't stop people from jogging and wearing hoodies and wool hats!! Thursday was a lot of fun, we walked the strip and hit up some different casinos and took in the sites. I was disappointed though I didn't see any famous Vegas hookers but there are these people that stand out in the heat and sell bottles of water and hand you cards to have call girls brought to your room, which is just another way for you to get a fancier more expensive hooker.

We went over to Mandalay Bay and grabbed some expensive breakfast and went to a waste of time aquarium, we literally walked in a circle for 15 minutes and then its over. I was like, thanks can you give me some warning next time you are going to rape me for my money?? After that we hit up the casinos again and my buddy won a 1000 dollars and I won a 100 dollars!! For me that was cool because I am not much of a gambler so I felt pretty good about the win. After that we hit up the mall in the Luxor and I found a gift for my daughter and for myself- a fresh pair of '87 Jordans. Then it was off to get ass pounded for our meals again...this time we hit up Nathans hot dogs. It was good but, as with any New York based food I have had, it was a little over rated.

After dinner, we went to go see a show called "Fantasy" its a topless show that was very entertaining not only for obvious reasons but they had this comedian perform during the intermission who was ridiculous. Also, what was really cool is the manager gave us really good seats because we had to walk up this crazy long steep ramp and he said he didn't want me walking that far, about time my disability worked to my benefit!! Friday was one of the days we came for: The UFC fan expo. It was a lot of fun, we met Jens Pulver, Mike Brown, Jaimie Varner and Royce Gracie. I'm not sure if any of Uncommon heads are MMA fans (I know Nasa hates it) but it was huge for me because I've been a huge fan of this sport for ten years and it was cool to meet some of my favorite fighters. Shout out to Wanderlei Silva for spending some time with me answering some questions and giving me some advice. The weigh in was insane, the atmosphere was electric it was like going to an actual fight. I am not going to bore you with details on the fights but everyone I wanted to win won their fights.

I learned a few things during my trip, I am out of shape, old ladies love their slot machines, I'll need to budget more for food next time, don't fuck with Asian Black Jack dealers, they are ruthless, I love MMA more after this trip and that Brock Lesnar is not a human being...